Hell Hath No Fury Like Toph
by A Voice in the Desert
Summary: My contribution to Tokka week! A quick series of humorous scenes detailing the life and struggles of our favorite blind bandit and her slave...err...friend. Follow Toph as her temper gets the best of her, for better and for worse! Please review!


**Hey all, just wanted to wish you all a happy Tokka week! I know I'm not going to get all the prompts up but I wanted to at least write something. This prompt and the one for Friday seemed the most interesting, so muse willing, I'll have one more one shot up soon.**

**Disclaimed.**

**Please note that the ages are all Toph's...

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**Hell Hath No Fury…Like Toph**

Over the years, Sokka had learned many things about Toph. He'd learned that she really didn't like stewed sea prunes, hated other people touching her feet, and secretly liked falling asleep in his arms—though she'd never admit it. But more importantly, Sokka learned that hell hath no fury like Toph...

_12 Years Old_

"AHH! SOKKA!"

"What?" Sokka asked as he snuggled deeper into his sleeping bag, trying to hide his grin.

"Why did you put bugs in my sleeping bag!?"

"But I didn't!" Sokka objected, "why would I do something that?"

"Because you'd think it was funny," Toph smiled, her voice suddenly sickly sweet, "and because you just lied to me, I'm going to have to do THIS!"

And with a single thrust of her hands, Sokka found himself soaring through the air toward the nearest tree. _Perhaps_, he mused as the long, prickly branches of the overhanging pine grew closer, _the bugs weren't the best idea he'd ever had_.

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_13 Years Old_

"You wanted to see me Toph?" Sokka asked, casually leaning against a doorframe in Iroh's Ba Sing Se tea shop.

"Yeah," she mumbled, her face strangely downcast, "but let's get away from Katara and Aang—they're making me sick."

Sokka made a face, he knew they had just won the war and that a little celebration was in order, but he still couldn't get over the fact that Aang was locking lips with his baby sister.

"Sokka," Toph began, once they had found a quiet room, "I just wanted to say thanks…and…and to say goodbye."

Sokka's mouth worked silently, trying to understand why Toph would be leaving. After all, the battle was over now, wasn't it?

"Thanks for everything," she continued shyly, "thanks for being my friend, for being there for me when no one else was, but most of all, thanks for not letting go. I'm going to miss you."

And before Sokka knew what hit him, Toph had embraced him. It wasn't a long hug or a particularly strong one, but it was a display of emotion that Sokka hadn't seen from Toph before.

When they finally broke apart, she began to slowly walk from the room.

"But you could come with Suki and me," Sokka called suddenly.

At Suki's name, a scowl flitted across Toph's face, "and be what…the third wheel? I don't think so Sokka."

"Yeah!" Sokka exclaimed, not really listening to his friend, "and if anyone asked questions we could just tell them you're my sister!"

Pleased with himself, Sokka looked over to see the door to the room slammed shut, bits of caked dust slowly cascading from the ceiling above. And in his confusion, he missed the muffled "bye Sokka" that came from the other side.

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_15 Years Old_

"But..but…you can't marry him! He's almost twice your age!"

"It's tradition Sokka," Toph sighed, once again trying to explain the concept of suitors and an arranged marriage to her rather dense friend, "it's just how things are done in high society."

"Toph, have you seen this guy!?"

"No Sokka, I haven't."

"Oh, right…sorry."

"Well, I've got to go now," Toph sighed, reluctantly turning to leave, "I've got to go meet his family."

"Don't go," Sokka exclaimed, "let's run away again! It'll be just like old times!"

"And do what!?" Toph shouted, throwing her arms up in frustration, "I can't spend my whole life gallivanting across the country like you can! I've got to grow up and get married! I have responsibilities! I'm _blind_ Sokka; I should probably consider myself lucky that someone is willing to marry me in the first place!"

"Oh yeah!?" Sokka yelled, "well I'm not going to let you marry a jerk like that!"

"And what are you going to do about it!?" Toph snorted, her hands on her hips.

In the days to come, Sokka still wasn't sure why he chose that moment to kiss her, but when they snuck away from the Bei Fong estate later that night (after being sure to leave a small "surprise" for Toph's suitor), Sokka was sure glad that he had.

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_17 Years Old_

"Sokka are you feeling alright?"

"Wha—oh…yeah, I'm fine…why do you ask?" Sokka stuttered, glancing nervously around the fancy restaurant he had chosen for their date tonight.

"Because if you don't stop bouncing your foot or checking on whatever it is you have in your pocket, I think I'm going to go crazy."

"Sorry," Sokka grimaced.

"Sokka!" Toph shouted two minutes later, not caring that several nearby tables had stopped eating to stare at the agitated couple. "You're doing it again! Can't you just relax!? This is supposed to be fun!"

"Well I'm sorry," Sokka scowled, growing increasingly irritated when Toph proceeded to cross her arms over her chest and stare pointedly over his shoulder. "It's not like it's easy working up the courage to propose!"

The whole restaurant immediately went silent as Sokka realized with growing horror what he had just said.

"You…you want to marry me!? Toph squeaked (though she would later deny using such a tone).

Sokka gulped and nodded, happy that she had at least lowered her voice—and not ejected him from the restaurant…yet.

"You do realize that was the most unromantic proposal I have ever gotten?"

Thankfully, that did not stop her from saying yes.

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_20 Years Old_

"This is all your fault!"

Sokka frowned, trying not to get angry with his wife, "well not exactly…"

"You did this to me!" she shouted again, ignoring his protests.

"It's not like you weren't enjoying it at the time!"

"Ma'am," the healer interrupted, "I'm going to need you to push, you're almost there."

"Don't tell me what to do!" A sweaty, tired, and very irritated Toph snapped.

"And Sokka!" Toph continued, ignoring the healer's requests, "this is never happening again! You hear me!? Never!"

"Ma'am?" the healer said, interrupting Toph's angry diatribe.

"What!?"

"It's your husband…he's fainted."

"Idiot."

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_25 Years Old_

"Sokka, did you leave your club lying on the floor again?"

"Don't think so," Sokka called from the other room of their small home. "Why?"

"Because _your_ son decided to use it to destroy half the living room!"

"Why is it always _my_ son whenever he's in trouble?" Sokka scowled, "Half of his genes are yours, you know."

"Well he must've inherited your stupidity," Toph snapped. "Now come in here and clean up his mess before I introduce your stupidity to my anger!"

"I've think they've already met," Sokka gulped. This was not a good way to start the weekend.

Fifteen minutes later Sokka thought he'd done a passable job of cleaning up the room. Five minutes after that he gulped for the second time that morning.

"Sokka! I thought you were going to clean up the living room!?"

"I did," Sokka protested rather indignantly.

"Well then why did I almost trip over your club when I walked in there?"

"I guess I missed it," Sokka sighed, getting up and walking into the supposedly clean room.

"And I thought I was the blind one," Toph muttered, pushing past her husband and out the door.

To the casual observer, Toph and Sokka would appear to be an odd couple, and over the years, they would both reluctantly agree to this observation. That, however, would not change the fact that they loved each other. And while Sokka would often irritate Toph to no end, she would (in her softer moments) admit that she loved every minute of it…at least until her stupid (creative), forgetful (loyal), lazy (driven) husband opened his mouth again.

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**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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